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Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
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