so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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