If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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