On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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