First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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