All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
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Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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