Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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