We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize