Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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