Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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