If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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