so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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