and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you never un-have a 4some
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize