Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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