i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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