I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize