I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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