Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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