after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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