I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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