I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize