I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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