dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize