oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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