turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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