I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
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