I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize