Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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