Me too!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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