Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize