i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize