I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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