6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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