HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
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On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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