either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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