I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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