it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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