One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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