idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i believe in u and ur pee
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