I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize