I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize