i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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