Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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