I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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