decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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