Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
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Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And then the night went full on bisexual.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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