I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize