I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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