We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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