Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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